is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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