My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
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