Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
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She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
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You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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