i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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