I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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