it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
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She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
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I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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