he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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