Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
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