I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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