I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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