whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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