You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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