Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
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did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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