they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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