It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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