Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize