I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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