I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Randomize