Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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