still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize