If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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