Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
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i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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