All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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