May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize