I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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