Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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