i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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