I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize