I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize