If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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