dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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