i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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