please come you make the beer taste better
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize