did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
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And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize