So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
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