Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found the puke drawer
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize