There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize