Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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