I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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