I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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