What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
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Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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