Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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