so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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