I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
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Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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