Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize