You made me cry and you don't even care
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize