I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize