I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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