if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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