Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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